What Is Loss Massage?

There is no massage modality quite like this one.

No one talks about it, very few therapists offer it, and yet the women who need it are everywhere — sitting with a loss that the world moved on from long before they did, carrying a grief that has no timeline and no clean resolution, in a body that went through something enormous and was given very little help to come back from it.

Loss massage exists for her.

I created this service because I kept encountering women at the edges of my prenatal and postpartum work who had experienced a loss — a miscarriage, a stillbirth, an infant death — and had nowhere to bring their bodies. They didn't think they were my clients which broke my heart. They are even more my client. Therapy addresses the mind. Friends offer food and presence. But the body, which has been through its own version of birth, its own hormonal upheaval, its own physical trauma — is largely left untended.

That felt wrong to me. And so I went looking for how to change it. You know the phrase, "see a need, fill a need"?...that rang in my head. 

What loss massage actually is

Loss massage is somatic support for women navigating pregnancy loss at any stage — miscarriage, stillbirth, infant loss, or any loss that lives in the body and the heart simultaneously.

It is not about fixing anything. There is nothing to fix. It is not about explaining the loss, processing it verbally, or moving through it on any particular timeline. It is simply about showing up for yourself, in your body, in the darkness — and being met there with care.

In a loss massage session, the work is less about aches and pains and more about a holistic perspective. I am not asking: where does it hurt? I am asking: how is your heart? What does your body need right now — not mechanically, but energetically and emotionally? The session is shaped by those answers.

The physiology of a grieving body

What most people don't realize is that the body after a pregnancy loss — particularly after a miscarriage — is physiologically similar to a postpartum body. The hormones that flooded in during the pregnancy don't simply switch off. The body has been through a profound physical event. It needs time, warmth, nourishment, and tending in the same way a postpartum body does — and it almost never gets it.

My training as a doula taught me to understand what the body experiences through loss. The majority of miscarriages are the result of a chromosomal mismatch — the body recognizing that something was not viable and releasing it. That is not a failure. That is the body's intelligence at work, even when it breaks our hearts. 

Because every loss is physiologically different — depending on how far along the pregnancy was, how the loss occurred, what medical interventions were involved — I always ask about the nature of the loss before a session. Not to pry, and not to open a conversation the client isn't ready for, but to ensure I understand any contraindications and can keep her body safe. Beyond what is medically necessary to know, there is no pressure to explain anything.

What a session feels like

Loss massage sessions are quieter than other massage sessions. There is less talking. More stillness. More space for whatever arises — tears, silence, the kind of exhale that has been held for weeks.

I bring openness into the room, no agenda or a need to rush anywhere or accomplish anything. The session holds her exactly where she is — not where she should be, not where she will be eventually, but where she is right now.

Sometimes what arises on the table is grief. Sometimes it is rage. Sometimes it is exhaustion so deep that she simply sleeps. Sometimes I have no idea what is brought up and it's not my business to know. All of it is welcome and is part of the tending.

I also approach the energetic and emotional landscape of the session with attention. Grief is not only an emotional experience — it lives in the fascia, in the breath, in the places where the body has been bracing without realizing it. Gentle, trauma-informed touch can help the body begin to release what it has been holding, in its own time without being forced.

A castor oil pack add-on is available for loss massage sessions. Castor oil has been used in traditional healing practices for centuries to support the uterus, encourage circulation, and aid the body's natural recovery process. It is a gentle, nourishing addition that many women find deeply comforting.

Who loss massage is for

Loss massage is for any woman who has experienced a pregnancy loss at any stage — early miscarriage, late miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant loss. It is for women who are newly grieving and for women who lost a pregnancy years ago and still carry it in their bodies. Grief is cyclical, therefore there is no timeline, and there is no expiration date on the need to be held.

It is for the woman who feels like the world has moved on and she hasn't. For the woman whose body is asking for something she can't quite name. For the woman who has been strong for everyone around her and needs somewhere to simply arrive without performing.

You do not need to be ready to talk about it. You do not need to have processed it. You just need to be willing to show up.

A note on creating this service

I created loss massage because no one else in my area was offering it — and because I believe that every body that has been through a loss deserves the same quality of tending that we give to birthing bodies. Grief is not a lesser event. It is its own threshold. And it deserves to be held with the same reverence.

If you are carrying a loss and your body is asking to be met — I am here.

Loss massage sessions are available in Newark, Delaware, serving the Delaware, Pennsylvania, and Maryland tri-state area.

60 minutes · $145

90 minutes · $210

To book or to ask questions, visit thresholdbody.com or reach out directly.

Monica Seligmann is a Licensed Massage Therapist, Prenatal Yoga Teacher, Doula, and Feminine Embodiment Coach based in Newark, Delaware. She is the founder of The Threshold Body — bodywork, yoga, and ritual for women at every threshold of womanhood.